His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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