Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
