I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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