I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
