I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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