planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
