i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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