Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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