its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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