The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
