I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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