just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize