I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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