Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
