I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
