I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
