so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
