Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
