haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize