A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
