What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
