she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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