i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
