I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
