I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
