I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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