Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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