no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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