My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
