Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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