i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
