turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
