please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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