My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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