You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Everything about him screamed your future.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
