Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
