I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
