I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
