Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
