Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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