The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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