oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
