cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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