We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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