you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
