i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
