plz talk dirty to me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
