I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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