You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
