There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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