i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
